He does not have a beer gut,
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.
He is not quiet,
He is a Conversational Minimalist.
He is not stupid,
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Developement.
He does not get lost all the time,
He discovers alternative destinations.
He is not balding,
He is in Follicle Regression.
He is not a cradle robber,
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.
He does not get falling-down drunk,
He becomes Accidentially Horizontal.
He is not short,
He is Anatomically Compact.
He does not talk constantly about cars,
He has a vehicular Addiction.
He does not have a hot body,
He is Physically Combustible.
He does not eat like a pig,
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.
He is not a sex machine,
He is Romantically Automated.
He does not hog the covers on the bed,
He is Thermally Unappreciative.
He is not a male chauvinist pig,
He has Swine Empathy.
He does not undress you with his eyes,
He has an Introspective Pornagraphic Moment.
He is not afraid of commitment,
He is Monogamously Challenged.
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