Marriage Jokes
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
There are two times a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man!
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" Following her down the street the husband yelled, "No, jump in!"
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
A man who muttered a few words in the church, found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!
Marriage puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free.
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