Mario

A young man is sitting in a tavern in a small town in Italy, drinking and looking glum. A stern looking local man approaches him and asks,

"What's wrong my friend?"

He says "My partner left me for another man."

"Ah, life can be cruel" says the local. "Take me, I built this bar with my bare hands. Foundation to chimney. You think they call me Mario the builder? No. Come with me."

Mario takes the man to the window.

"You see those olive trees? I planted every single one. Dug the soil with my bare hands, tended them from seedling to bear the finest oil in the country. You think they call me Mario the gardener? No. Follow me."

He takes the young man out to the porch of the bar.

"Look out at that lake. You see those boats? I built every one with my bare hands. I chopped down the trees, cut the planks for every foot of ship and varnished every keel in that dock. Do you think they call me Mario the shipwright? No. Life can be cruel and unfair my friend."

As they stood there a couple of men from the village round a corner and immediately yell,

"Hey look, it's Mario the goat fucker!"