"Your blood pressure and cholesterol are too high for a 30 year old." The Doctor said to David. "You need to lose some weight and soon. You are sweating too much and your stool samples look a little too loose. In fact, you have the early stages of dysentery due to the terrible things you eat. I'm going to write you a prescription for cheese."
"That's a little harsh Doc, but cheese?" Davis said. "Why do I need a prescription for cheese?"
"This isn't just any cheese, it's magic cheese. Just get this filled and come back to me in 6 months."
David got the prescription filled and received a 100 lb wheel of cheese. Over the next 6 months he ate it. All of it. He also started losing weight and feeling better almost immediately. Over those 6 months he lost 200 lbs, got a new job and started dating someone. Around the end of the 6th month, unfortunately, he started having severe abdominal pain.
"Doctor, it's killing me! Why does my stomach hurt so bad?"
"When was the last time you defecated?" The Doctor asked.
"Around about the time I started eating the cheese."
"You're constipated, plain and simple. I'll write you a prescription for some prune juice."
"Seriously Doc! This is the worst pain of my life and it's all because of that stupid cheese!" David shouted.
"Hey! That cheese helped you get your shit together!"
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