[Long] [Religion] In a kingdom of the past, a long way away...

... there was a village that lived on the edges of the kingdom, by a mountainside. The village was intially called "Trifville", as a play on how worthless it was to haggle in the village market - over time, people began affectionately calling the village "Triddville", and the villagers, "Tridds".

The town itself was very religious; there were four sectors of the village - the Christian sector, which followed the teachings of the town priest; the Islamic sector, which followed the teachings of the town imam; and the Jewish sector, which followed the teachings of the town rabbi. The former two were born in the village, and the lattermost was initially a traveler from another village who chose to stay.

One day, a giant appeared at the top of the mountain by the town, bellowing and shaking the ground with each breath. Naturally, the people panicked - until each of the religious figures claimed that the monster was a punishment from the heavens for having a poor market. The villagers were then torn amongst themselves; there was much rioting and pillaging between the three sectors, until a small boy, furious with the riots, screamed at the top of his lungs, "IF THOSE BASTARDS ALL THINK THEY KNOW WHAT THE TROUBLE IS, LET THEM FIX IT!"

There was silence.

There was more silence.

There was prolonged silence.

A slow chant rose from the villagers, "GIANT - THEY SLAY". It got faster. It got more energetic.

It got wild.

Eventually, the villagers raided the homes of the priest, imam, and rabbi (which were previously untouched), and threatened them to stoning if they had not solved the giant problem.

While they had been reluctant at first, when the villagers had kidnapped all of their daughters as hostages, the priest, imam, and rabbi seemed overly enthusiastic to solve the problem immediately.

First, the priest made the trek up the large mountain. Being the middle-aged man he was, he took a week to climb the sizable spike. When he encountered the giant, he said, "Brother Giant, can you not spare the villagers of your incessant breathing and stomping. My young girl wakes up every night, scared, because of your actions."

The giant, without a word, kicks the priest in the testicles so hard that the priest loses his balance, and falls backward down the mountain. He is dead before he touches the base of the mountain.

Second, the imam made the hike up the large mountain. Being the somewhat seniorly man he was, he took a two weeks to climb the colossal mound. When he encountered the giant, he said, in Arabic, "Brother Giant, shall you spare the villagers of your ever frequent breathing and stomping. My dearest children wake up every night, scared, because of your actions."

The giant, with a puzzled look, kicks the imam in the balls so hard that the imam loses his balance, and somersaults backward down the mountain. He is dead before he can scream.

Lastly, the rabbi made the journey to the top of Mount Giant. At the base of the mountain, he saw the rotting bodies of the priest and the imam; their abdomens were noticably caved in. The rabbi, slightly unnerved, just muttered to himself, *"...just a test... it's just a test..."* Being the elderly man he was, he took a three weeks to climb the colossal mound. When he encountered the giant, he said, "Brother Giant, could you please leave us?"

Suprisingly enough, the Giant said, "Okee dokee," and, from then on, the village was not disturbed from the Giant any longer. The rabbi, overwhelmed by his sucess, blurted out, "My brothers - the priest and the imam, I've seen them at the base of this mountain, with their abdomens caved inwards. Why haven't I recieved the same fate?"

The Giant, smiles and says, "Silly rabbi! Kicks are for Tridds!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------

*Note: I'm supportive of all religions. This is just a really long joke with a ton of unnessisary filler.*