With yet another young man in her life Elizabeth Taylor decided that in her advancing years she needed to tighten up her vaginal area. She put her trust in her plastic surgeon of 30 years standing, the one who had carried out her face-lifts, boob jobs and ass-lifts. Sworn to secrecy, he agreed that no-one but him would ever know. He carried out the delicate operation, carefully slicing away strips of the loose folds of skin. It is a long operation!Liz awakes the next morning to see 3 "get well soon" cards on her bedside table. She is appalled and demands to see the doctor. "No-one but you should know about this! You have let me down",she says."Ah" says the doc,"this card is from my wife and I wishing you a speedy recovery." "How nice ", says Liz."Thank you - what a nice thought." "The second card is from old Madge the cleaner who has cleaned up after all your previous operations - she is to be trusted.""What a beautiful thought , from such a humble person -I'm really touched", says Liz. "But who is the 3rd card from?" asks Liz."Oh", says the doctor, "that's from Evander Holyfield -- thanking you for his new ears!!!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.