Little Red Riding Hood was

Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a machete to
her throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!" To that, Little
Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a
.44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No you're not! You're going
to eat me, just like it says in the book!"