Little Johnny went to school one day and was...

Little Johnny went to school one day and was sitting in class when the
teacher asked, "Who can use the word contagious in a sentence?"


So little Johnny's arm shot up and he wanted to answer the question
really badly but the teacher, unsure of the response, asked little Maggie.
Little Maggie quickly stood up and said "My sister has a cold and it's
contagious" to which the teacher responded "Good answer!"


Then the teacher asked again "Can anyone use the word contagious in a
sentence?" Again little Johnny's arm shot up and again the teacher
overlooked Johnny and opted for another student, Mark.


Mark quickly stood up and said "If you have the measles you are
contagious" "Very good!" was the response from the teacher.


So the teacher feeling bad for overlooking little Johnny said "Go ahead
little Johnny if you can use the word contagious in a sentence we would
all like to hear it."


So little Johnny stood up and said "Well me and my dad were out on the
porch one day and my mom was mowing the lawn. After 5 minutes of mowing
the lawn my mom came and sat down and had a beer, and my dad said "Go mow
the lawn!" So my mom she went and mowed the lawn. After another 5
minutes of mowing the lawn my mom came back and sat down and had another
beer, so my dad said "Go mow the lawn!" So my mom she went to mow the
lawn again. My dad turned to me and said "Son it's going to take that
cunt ages to mow the lawn!"