Little Johnny and the neighbor

Little Johnny is in his room when his mother enters.

"Johnny," she said, "Tonight we're going to the neighbor's house for dinner. They've just had a baby and we're going to have dinner and then see the newborn."

"Okay, mommy," Little Johnny replied.

"Now listen," said his mother, "The baby was born without ears. I don't want you making and jokes about ears or missing ears or not hearing things. If you do, you'll be grounded for a month!"

"Okay, mommy," Little Johnny said with a note of disappointment in his voice.

So they went over and had a lovely, 3-course meal. Little Johnny was extremely well-behaved and his mother was very proud of him.

After finishing supper, they made their way into the nursery to see the baby. He was sleeping soundly in his crib.

Little Johnny stood on his tiptoes, his fingers curled around the bars of the crib, eyeing the baby with intense curiosity. The baby's mother noticed Johnny's interest and smiled.

"What do you think of the baby, Johnny?" she asked.

"Oh miss! Your baby is just lovely."

"Why thank you!" the new mother beamed.

"No, no. I mean it," Johnny said, "He's got lovely hands, lovely feet, lovely eyes. Does he see okay?"

"Why yes," the mother smiled, "The doctor says he'll be blessed with perfect 20/20 vision."

"That's a relief," said Johnny, "Because if he needed glasses, he'd be fucked."