Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being
taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the
Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some
respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000
Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken
its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he
could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with
Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made
a deal to have him frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know
is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer
debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with
He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date,
he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was
The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room
filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and
"It's a miracle" and "He's alive!� There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever
seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.
Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack
couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000
already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over
and done with?"
The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of
the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle; it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It
was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had
advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which
allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet.
"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so
interested in me?"
"Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it
says in your files that you know COBOL".
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.