I'm afraid I have some bad news about your wife.

Guy gets a call from his doctor, says "Sir, your wife is here with me, we've just concluded her testing. And I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Husband: "What is it doc?" Doctor: Well I've narrowed the diagnosis down to one of two things, it's either Alzheimer's, or AIDS, but we're not certain which. I'm going to perform one last test which should be conclusive." Husband: "Well what's the test?" Doctor: "Well I'm going to send her home, on the bus." Husband: "And then? You'll call me with the results or something?" Doctor: "No, if she makes it home, don't fuck her."

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