A well-dressed man runs into a bar and says to the bartender in a hurried voice, "Quick! I need 7 shots of your best, top shelf whiskey as fast as you can pour it!" The bartender grabs some 12-year-old bourbon and pours it into 7 shot glasses. The man downs all of the shots, one after the other.
The bartender says, "Holy shit! I've never seen anybody down shots like that. Why did you drink them so fast?" The man stares him in the eye with a somber, saddened look and says, "You'd drink like that too, if you had what I've got." The bartender says sympathetically, "Sorry to hear it. What do you have?"
The man says, "3 dollars and fifty cents."
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