I hate clowns

I went to the circus. There were the usual acts, the lion tamers, the trapeze artists, the elephants, the sword swallowers, and finally my least favorite the clowns. This one clown must have seen how uncomfortable I was with clowns because he called me out. He must have done this routine a million times, he started by asking "you sir, are you a horse's head?" "no" I replied. "Are you a horse's mouth?" "No" I said again. "Well then, you must be a horse's ass" the clown said. I was destroyed, I had no reply, everyone laughed at me, it was the most humiliating moment of my life.
I decided then and there I would get revenge on the clown in the worst way. I studied literature finding comebacks from modern writing, the texts of the great literary masters of the old days. I went to clown college and learned their ways in an attempt to get in this clown's head.
Finally I spotted my chance: the circus was back in town. I bought my tickets, I watched the sword swallowers, I watched the trapeze artists, the elephants, the lion tamers, and then the clowns appeared. I saw that same clown with his big stupid grin, his floppy shoes, and that damn red nose. He started in on that same old routine and I thought to myself "I have him now". "You sir, are you a horse's head?" the clown asked "no sir, I am not" I replied to that smug bastard. "Are you a horse's mouth?" the clown continued, "no, of course not" I said in anticipation of the moment I had been waiting for. "Then you must be a horse's ass" the clown said, as the crowd burst into laughter. I tried to muster up a response but the crowd was far too loud and the moment had been lost.
I decided I must learn to command the attention of the crowd. I take debate courses. I study the speech patterns and body language of the greatest speakers in history. I master the art of the argument. I even join a drama club to further improve my stage presence.

Finally I see the day come when the circus comes to town. Again I purchase a ticket, again I watch the sword swallowers, the elephants, the lion tamers, the trapeze artists, and last but not least the clowns. My nemesis appears after a line of 20 of his cohorts from a vehicle that is impossibly small. We lock eyes and he shouts "you sir! Are you a horse's head?" confidently and steadily I reply "no I am not". He continues "are you a horse's mouth?" "no" I say again. "Well then," the clown starts with the same old line "you must be a horse's ass!" "Hey" I shout in retort knowing my moment has finally arrived "fuck you clown".