A man bumped me and knocked a drink out of my hand. Instead of apologizing that motherfucker told me to watch where I was going. I swung first and unfortunately got knocked flat, the douche bag ran off to avoid charges.
The bartender came over and said "Sorry about that asshole, can I give you a jack and coke?"
So we went back to his place and stayed up all night.
Edit: used different punch line, I think I'm doing this wrong
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.