I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. * Tom Clancy You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither. * Steve Martin Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. * Woody Allen Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday .night. * Rodney Dangerfield There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL. * Lynn Lavner Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist. * Matt Barry Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. * Camille Paglia & Bill Anderson Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant. * George Burns Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships. * Sharon Stone My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she's reading. * Steve Jobs I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it., so I said Thyroid problem?' *Arnold Schwarzenegger Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. * Tiger Woods My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch. * Jack Nicholson He never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is. * Barbara Bush Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. * Robin Williams Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. * Roseanne Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. * Billy Crystal According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful. * Robert De Niro There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? * Dustin Hoffman There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.' * Jerry Seinfeld Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house. * Rod Stewart See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. * Robin Williams Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts *Jeff Foxworthy

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.