How to talk about men and still be politically...

How to talk about men and still be politically correct
1. He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY.
2. He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
3. He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
4. He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
5. He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
6. He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS.
7. He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY
HORIZONTAL.
8. He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION.
9. He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
10. He does not constantly talk about cars; he has a VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
11. He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
12. He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
13. He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY.
14. He doesn't have a dirty mind; he has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS.
15. He is not afraid of commitment; he is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED