Found some gems in my grandpa's old journal, thought r/jokes would appreciate them...

I'll try and transcribe them the way he writes them down, but it is pretty hard since most of them are written in cursive.

Husband got up early Sunday morning to fly a kite. He is having a hard time, kite is going up and down. Wife is watching from the window in her nighty. Finally, she becomes exasperated with his failure. She opens up the window and yells "You need more tail!" The husband says to his neighbor and companion, "If she isn't the damndest woman, I can't understand her. Last night she told me to go fly a kite."

3 bulls gathered to talk. 1st one says I am going to Rome to be a papel bull, 2nd says I am going to wall street to be a bull on the market, 3rd says I am going to stay here for heiffer and heiffer and heiffer.

Older lady admonishes young lady for smoking.
Old lady: "I would rather commit adultery than smoke in public!"
Young lady: "I would too."

Golfer on 2nd tee, another golfer comes out of the woods and asks if he has any toilet paper. 1st golfer says no and plays on. On 3rd tee he is interrupted again by the same man asking for a napkin. He replies no and don't bother me again. Finally, as he is about to tee off on the 4th whole, the man interrupts him mid swing, "Do you have 5 1's for a 5?"

I thought they were funny, but I guess that has to do with my surprise at finding them when I opened up his journal expecting to find a bland accounting of the days events. Nope, entire journal full of jokes.