Here's a little Christmas rhyme that was always dear to my heart.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
every creature was stirring, even that fucking mouse.
Mom at the whore house, dad smoking grass,
while I settled down for a nice piece of ass.
All of a sudden i heard such a shatter,
that I sprang from my piece to what's the matter.
Out on the lawn there was a big dick,
I knew at that moment it must be Saint Prick.
He came down the chimney like bats outta hell,
I knew at that moment that fucker had fell.
He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He shot up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
that son of a bitch blew our chimney apart.
He flew through the night cursing and wailing,
"Merry Christmas to all and to all one hell of a night!"