Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
every creature was stirring, even that fucking mouse.
Mom at the whore house, dad smoking grass,
while I settled down for a nice piece of ass.
All of a sudden i heard such a shatter,
that I sprang from my piece to what's the matter.
Out on the lawn there was a big dick,
I knew at that moment it must be Saint Prick.
He came down the chimney like bats outta hell,
I knew at that moment that fucker had fell.
He filled the stockings with pretzels and beer,
and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He shot up the chimney with a thunderous fart,
that son of a bitch blew our chimney apart.
He flew through the night cursing and wailing,
"Merry Christmas to all and to all one hell of a night!"
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