He was sitting around the table with his girlfriend right next to him, her mother on the other side, her two siblings in the middle two seats, her father directly across from him at the head of the table, and the family dog, Spot, relaxed on the floor.
All of a sudden the urge to fart hit him strongly. It was bad, if he even moved an inch to get up and use the restroom, there would be no stopping it. He began sweating profusely and cursing the gods for his luck, as his sphincter began shaking angrily. He thinks to himself, maybe he would be able to get away with letting just the tiniest bit out. He leans slightly to the left and lets out just a squeek.
"SPOT!...." the dad bellows, looking menacingly at the family dog.
"Holy shit", our hero thinks, the father just blamed the dog. So he leans to the left again and this time lets out a longer trumpet toot.
"SPOOTTT!!!...." the father again yells, louder and with more urgency. "Okay" our man thinks, "I am getting off scott free with this. I'm just gonna let it loose." So he leans all the way to the left and lets out the nastiest, thickest, loudest fart he ever experienced in his life, lasting a solid 30 seconds.
The father immediately jumps up from the table and screams "SPOT! You get away from that boy before he shits all over you!"
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