Good News Bad News

A man's mother-in-law moves in with him. About two weeks later, he comes home and discovers her lying on the floor of the living room. He calls 911 and they send the ambulance over, and the ambulance rushes the woman to the hospital. The man is pacing the waiting room. A doctor finally comes out to speak with him.

The doctor says, "I have good news, and bad news."

The man replies, "Well, tell me the good news first."

The doctor says, "Your mother-in-law sustained a major heart attack, but she didn't die. In fact she will probably live another 20 to 30 years. She unfortunately lost her ability to speak, and she will make this awful screeching and squawking noise, like a parrot. She has also lost control of her bodily functions, so you will have to change her diapers and wash her; she has also lost the mobility of her limbs, so you will have to feed her and care for her for the next 20 to 30 years."

The man replies, "Oh my God; what is the bad news, Doc?"

The doctor replies, "No, I'm just messing with you; she really died."

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