"Good evening bitches and bastards" NSFW

Little John Tidswallow often heard his parents arguing with each other in the lead up to Thanksgiving. 'Bitch!' his father would say, 'Bastard' was the reply from his mother. "What does bitch and bastard mean?" John asked his parents.
Bitch just means a woman, John. And bastard is another word for man. The next day, John hears the words 'dick' and 'pussy' come from his parents. "What does dick and pussy mean?" "Dick is a coat, and pussy is a hat, son". The next day he overhears the words 'fuck' and 'shit'. "What does fuck and shit mean?" he asked. 'Fuck' means to carve, and shit is another word for make-up. Thanksgiving arrived and little John Tidswallow was charged with welcoming the guests when they arrived to the door. "Hello bitches and bastards, you can give me your dicks and your pussies if you want and I'll find a place to put them. Mums just upstairs putting shit on her face and dad is in the kitchen fucking the turkey."

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