..and are met by Saint Peter. He says to them, "Welcome, chaste ones. Thank you for your many years of sacrifice in the service of God. Heaven awaits you."
The nuns, assuming they are exempt from judgement, continue to the gates. "Ah, ah, ah," Saint Peter says. "First, you must confess. Tell me if you have ever before touched a penis and, if you have, wash yourself clean with this holy water and you will be forgiven."
The first nun says, "Saint Peter, I once touched a penis with this finger."
Saint Peter says to her, "dip your finger in this holy water and then you may pass." She does, and poof, she's gone.
The second nun, blushing, says, "Saint Peter, I once held a penis with this hand."
Saint Peter says, "Oh my. Well, no matter. Wash your hand in this holy water and say one hail Mary and, as promised, you will be forgiven." She does, and poof, she's gone.
Suddenly, the fourth nun shoves the third nun aside and says, "My turn! It's my turn!" Saint Peter laughs and says, "I see you're very excited to finally meet our heavenly father, but all in good time, dear. First, let's hear from--" The fourth nun, in a near panic, says, "You don't understand! I am NOT putting that water in my mouth after SHE'S washed her ASS with it!"
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