Father Brown

A young priest has just left the seminary and been sent to his first parish to work alongside an old experienced priest Father Brown.

When he arrives the old priest welcomes him with open arms, explaining that he has been working alone and hasn't had a day off in years. He asks the new priest to take confesson so that he can have a break.

The young priest is very nervous as he hasn't done it for real before.

The old priest explains that it's easy as he has produced a tariff, and he gives him the list:

Telling lies - one Hail Mary;
Stealing - one Our Father;
etc;
etc.

So the young priest goes into the confessional and everything seems to be going okay.

"Father, I have told a lie," - one Hail Mary
"Father, I have stolen," - one Our Father

The next sinner is a bit of a problem:

"Father, I have performed oral sex."

He looks down the list and it's not included.

In panic he opens the door and is relieved to see the housekeeper doing a bit of dusting on the other side of the church.

"Mrs Doyle," he shouts, "do you know what Father Brown gives for oral sex?"

"Two pounds, if I take my teeth out" she shouts back.