Fancy Dress

There's this man with a bald head and a wooden leg who gets invited to a
fancy dress party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head
and is leg so he emails to a fancy dress company to explain the problem.

A few days later he receives a parcel with a note that says: "Dear Sir, please find
enclosed a pirates outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald
head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate".

The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his
wooden leg and so he writes a really rude email to complain. A week
passes and he receives another parcel and a note which says:

"Dear Sir, sorry about before, please find enclosed a monks habit. The long robe
will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part".

Now the man is really annoyed since they have gone from emphasizing his
wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head and he writes the company an
EXTREMELY rude email to complain.

The next day he receives a small parcel and a note which reads
"Dear Sir, please find enclosed a tin of molasses. Pour the tin of molasses over your
bald head, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a toffee apple".