Employee Evaluation

Name: ________________________


Date: __________________


Position: ___________________


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Knowledge:


[ ] The Son of a Bitch Really Knows His Shit!


[ ] Knows Just Enough To Be Dangerous.


[ ] Only Has Half a Brain and is Dangerous.


[ ] Fucking Brain Damaged, His Coffee Cup Has a Higher IQ.


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Accuracy:


[ ] Does Excellent Work If Not Pre-occupied With Pussy.


[ ] Pretty Good; Only Occasionally Blows it Out His Ass.


[ ] Has to Take His Shoes Off To Count Higher Than Ten.


[ ] Couldn't Count His Balls And Get The Same Number Twice.


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Attitude:


[ ] Extremely Cooperative (If You Kiss His Ass Daily).


[ ] Brown Noser In Good Standing.


[ ] Often Pisses Off Co-Workers, Thinks He Owns the Damn Place


[ ] Doesn't Give A Shit, Never Did, Never Will.


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Reliability:


[ ] Really A Dependable CockSucker.


[ ] Works So Hard That He Has To Take An Extra Day Off Each Week.


[ ] Can Rely On Him To Be The First One Out The Door.


[ ] Totally Fucking Worthless.


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Appearance:


[ ] Extremely Neat, Even Combs His Pubic Hair.


[ ] Looks Great On His Days Off.


[ ] Dirty, Filthy, Smelly Son Of a Bitch.


[ ] Flies Leave Fresh Dog Shit To Follow Him.


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Performance:


[ ] Goes Like A Son Of A Bitch...If There's Money In It For Him.


[ ] Does All Kinds of Good Shit At Evaluation Time.


[ ] Works Well After An Enema.


[ ] Couldn't Do Less If He Were In A Coma.


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Leadership:


[ ] Carries A Chain saw And Gets Good Results.


[ ] Macho Attitude, Commands Total Disgust.


[ ] Dog Fasted For Three Day Last Time He Brought Home Pork Chops.


[ ] Mother Teresa Told Him to Get Fucked.


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I UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE BEEN COUNSELED AND UNDERSTAND MY RIGHTS UNDER THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974. I FURTHER ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I AM FUCKED UP AND WORTHLESS AS A FOOTBALL BAT, AND I WILL MAKE SOME KIND OF ATTEMPT TO CORRECT MY OBVIOUS DEFICIENCES.


_______________________________ Employee Signature (If He Can Write)