During the Dark Ages, the Pope decrees that he is going to expel all of the Jews out of Europe...

...naturally, the Jews aren't very happy with this. Jewish people all over Europe start protesting in the streets, demanding that the Pope change his mind and let the Jewish people stay. Since the protests and riots are starting to get a bit chaotic and violent, the Pope creates a proposition. He will be visiting Rome in a few days, and he will choose a Jewish person in the city to have a silent debate with. If the Jew wins the debate, they can stay. If he doesn't, they leave.

So the Pope arrives in Rome and meets an old janitor named Abraham Luzzato, an old man with a very long beard and a skullcap, clearly Jewish.

Now, the Jewish community is convinced that Abraham Luzzato is the absolute *worst* person the Pope could have picked for this silent debate, as Abraham was kind of an idiot. He could barely read, he was vulgar, and when he wasn't working he spent most of his time eating. They are convinced that they are goners.

The next day, the Pope invites Abraham to a stage right in the heart of the Vatican, where thousands of people come to watch the debate that will change the world. The Pope explains to Abraham that the silent debate will last no more than five minutes, they are allowed to use props, and he who says even one word will be automatically disqualified, even the Pope himself. Abraham states that he understands the rules, and they begin.

The Pope raises his hand in the air and waves. Abraham then furrows his brow and sharply points to the ground. The Pope raises his eyebrows, and looks a little surprised.

The Pope then holds up three fingers. Abraham then flips the Pope off.

The people of the Vatican are shocked and the guards start marching towards Abraham, but the Pope gestures to them to stay back. He actually looks even more impressed than he was before.

The Pope then holds up a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread. Abraham, however, pulls out an apple from his pocket.

The Pope then grins from ear to ear and tears stream down his face. He proclaims that the Jews are allowed to stay in Europe as long as he lives. This baffles almost everyone in Europe.

That night, the cardinals and archbishops in the Vatican ask the Pope what on Earth Abraham said in order to bring the Pope to tears. The Pope smiles, then states,

"That man is by far the most enlightened man I know. When I first raised my hand and waved in the air, I was saying that the Lord our God is in Heaven, looking down upon mankind and watching everything humans do. However, the man pointed to the ground, reminding me that the Lord our God is omnipresent and is here with mankind and with nature at all times, never turning his back on the world.

"When I held up three fingers, I used it to represent the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. However, the man reminded me that despite the Holy Trinity, there is still only one God, and He alone is the creator of everything, and He alone deserves our love and worship.

"When I retrieved some bread and wine, I used it to represent the body and blood of Jesus Christ, Our Savior, and that through His salvation, we are saved. However, he pulled out an apple, to mean original sin, and that even though Jesus Christ, Our Savior died for our sins, mankind is still sinful. Therefore, we still need the divine teachings of the Lord our God, and we still need His love and His forgiveness.

"Truly, my brothers, if a humble Jewish janitor from Rome can know the Lord our God that well, surely they all must have the same knowledge."

Meanwhile, in Rome, the Jews are swarming Abraham, wondering how the hell did he not only bring the Pope to tears, but convinced him that the Jews should stay in Europe, despite flipping him off! Abraham takes a bite out of an apple and shrugs.

"That guy was a wacko. First he waves goodbye to me like a smug little shit, mocking me and saying that I have to get out of Europe. I told him that no, I'm staying right here. He then told me I had three days to leave. I told him he could go fuck himself. Then he pulled out his lunch, so I pulled out mine."