Ducks

Three wisemen die and go to heaven for their good deeds. When they arrived at the gates, an Angel greets them and explains the rules, "Under no circumstances are you to step on a duck". And throwing the gates open the wisemen see ducks as far as the eye could see.

The first wiseman goes a week and steps on a duck. The Angel appears and says "Follow me". So the Angel leads him down a long dark hallway to a room with the ugliest creature he'd ever laid eyes on, "This is your spouse for eternity" says the Angel, locking him in and leaving.

A month goes by and the second wiseman steps on a duck, the Angel appears and takes him down the long dark hallway to a room with the ugliest creature he's ever seen, tells him that's his spouse now, locks him in and leaves.

The last wiseman goes a whole year and doesn't step on a duck, but the Angel appears anyway and tells him to follow. They walk down a long dark hallway to a room with the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. "Is this my reward for not stepping on ducks?" The Angel smiles, "No, she stepped on a duck"

Also while typing this I farted so hard I woke up my wife