Usually, anyone who owns a dog calls him Rover or Spotor some such name. I called mine Sex and it got me into constant trouble.
One day when he was young, I took Sex for a walk and he slipped out of his collar and ran away. I spent hours looking for him. A policeman came along and asked me what I was doing in an alley at midnight. I told him I was looking for Sex.
That was my first court appearance.
dOne day I went to the town hall to get mydog registered.I told the clerk I wanted a licence for Sex. He said he would like one too. When I told him he didn't understand, that it was a dog, he said he didn't care what she looked like. Again I said he didn't understand and that I had had Sex since I was 5 years old. He said I must have been a strong boy.
When I decided to get married, I told he minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the ceremony. I said that Sex had played a big part in my life and my whole lifestlye revolved around Sex. He said he didn't want to hear about it and he would not allow us to have Sex in the church. I told him all my friends and relatives coming to the church wouldenjoy having Sex there. He barred the lot of us and we had to get married in the Registry Office.
Of course, my wife and I took Sex along with us on our honeymoon and when I checked into the Motel I told the clerk we wanted and extra room for Sex. The clerk said every room was for Sex. I said you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night, and the clerk said "Me too."
When my wife and I divorced, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married," he replied, "Me too."
Well now I have been thrown in jail, been married, divorced, and had more darn troubles with that dog than I ever bargained on.
Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my psychiatrist she asked me what seemed to be the trouble. I replied that Sex had died and left my life. it was like losing my best frient.
She said, "You should buy a dog."
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