Do You Know Me?

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to
the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He
approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"


She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known
you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you
manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to
realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."


The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed
across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?"


She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for his parents.
And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy,
bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build a normal
relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him."


At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and
called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he
said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me,
you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"