Dinner with my Samoan GF's psycho family….

So i am a 19 year old guy going to dinner at my gf's house for dinner with her family for the first time. Of course I am a little nervous to meet her ripped, protective father towering over me. She tells me not to worry. I walk up to knock on the door to her family's house with a vase full of roses as a housewarming gift to break the ice. The door opens and the dude looks like the fucking rock….but that's not all. This guy is fully nude with his junk nearly at the same height as my face. He looks at me and doesn't say a word for what felt like a minute. He just looked down at me. He finally said, "You must be my daughter's man friend. Come inside." He had a heavy accent, and as i entered the house he followed me and kept on grunting like a fucking hog. I walk past the living room which has a tannish carpet with red stains on it. The only thing in the room was an old beat up couch and a tv the size of a microwave. It was some Flintstone shit. I walk into the kitchen and right away I want to vomit at the smell. It smells like someone tried to microwave a bowl of diarrhea, and it exploded all over the room. The source of the smell was coming from what looked like a bowl of fish heads. These weren't any basic fish heads though. They were fucking swordfish. What I'm even more surprised to see is my girlfriend's old wrinkly mother walk into the kitchen with nothing but an apron covered in fish guts. She saw me and immediately came over to greet me. It was nasty and I could barely hold in the vomit. She covered me in slimy fish guts as she hugged me and kissed me on the lips. She tried to slip some tongue in and i had to back up. It was one of the most uncomfortable situations in my life. This house was a nightmare. My girlfriend entered the room as my saving grace. "I see you've met my parents. Let's go to the dinner table." Before we could leave the kitchen her father yelled something in another language. She sighed and stripped down until she was ass naked. This was a pleasing sight because my gf is a ten. We got to the table and I realized there was no silverware. Her father came down and sat at the head of the table. Her mother came in without the apron on and her saggy boobs were literally in the bowl of swordfish heads. She came over and threw one down on my plate. I looked at it in disgust. My girlfriend whispered to me. "you have to get naked or my father will beat you with the paddle." I looked at her like she was crazy. "hell no!" Surely enough, her father left the table and came back with a kayak oar. I immediately started to get naked. I was so uncomfortable with my genitals exposed on the cold hard chair. Everyone all at once picked up their fish heads and started fucking attacking it like wild dogs. They were just tearing through that shit. I peeled of a few scales and took a small bite. I couldn't swallow it. I threw up on the plate. Her father saw this and came back with the paddle. I got up and ran for the door as he chased me. I ran outside and the sun was still shining on our naked body's. This guy was fast. He caught up to me and picked me up by the armpits. He ran with me in his arms all the way back to the house before a couple walking their dog saw me screaming in his arms. They chased us and called the police. Her father forced me to sit back down at the dinner table. He ripped a chunk of the rish and started chewing it. He pried open my mouth and spit the mush directly into my mouth. My vomit was so strong that it hit him in the face and blinded him. I ran for the door and my GF tackled me and pinned me down. She was a strong mother fucker. I heard sirens outside and the police kicked down the door. Her father ran at an officer with the oar and they shot their tasers at him. This did not stop him. They drew out their pistols and started firing at him. It took ten shots to kill the beast. After a long interview at the police station, they gave me clothing and sent me home. I don't think I will ever date a samoan again….