Did you know Germany's Beer Purity Law is 500 years old this year?

**500 year?! Has it been that long? Amazing! 500 years of an entire people say “Nein!” no more sewage for me thank you!... Take note you Belgian swine.** *Belgian Guy:“But we have the most varieties of beer in the world!!”* **Yeah, you do and you are barely batting .100 when it comes to quality brew.** *Belgian Guy:“but what about Bacchus Frambozenbier?…its our best raspberry beer!?”* **Case and point! Just shut up Belgium, you are almost as bad as the French!** *French Guy:“Mememeh we have bubbles in our grape juice!! We are so fancy!...we think it pairs nicely with the pureed liver of a severely tortured bird!”.* **Why not just eat the whole bird?** *French Guy:“ “Bein non! Next thing you will say is we should eat the fish and not just the eggs!?! Sacre Bleu!”* **Ugh! Filthy Frenchmen! Well, that’s not how Germans roll! The eat the whole damn animal, not just the grossest parts…Yes the hearty sausage; ground up, seasoned and tubed (this is now a verb),** *French Guy:“ “Excuse me monsieur, but what about Kronenbourg, our finest bier since 1664, non?!”…* **Non! Look, my little fictitious grenouille, being around for a long time does not make something great. Just take the baguette:**

"Hey friends, do you like bread, but are sick and tired of traditional crust to good bread ratio!?... Well, have we got the bread for you! Meet the baguette, the bread with a paradoxically large amount of gum slicing crust, without all that unwanted actual bread inside! Want to make a sandwich?! Too fucking bad! Want to exhaust yourself slicing comically small pieces of crust into tiny discs so you try desperately to balance a single diced tomato on top? Well, then you are in luck… The baguette, aptly shaped for France to go fuck itself with!"

Credit to my buddy Nick!