Comedy News 6 23 16

Republicans voted down 4 bills to restrict automatic weapons from those on the terrorist watch list. Your NRA lobbyist dollars at work!

There's now a line of non-alcoholic wine for cats. It goes great with their dinner jacket and ascot!

Cat wine has to be non-alcoholic. When they get drunk they get so pretentious and arrogant!

O'Bama wants to own an NBA team. If there's poetic justice it won't be the Wizards, & the Bulls fit him perfectly!

Today's the birthday of mathematician Alan Turing. For you people who can't count to 20 without taking off your shoes, he was a numbers guy.

The Pope says marriages don't work because we lie when we say we'll stay together forever. Maybe it's because we say that in front of a guy who lies about being celibate?

It's 104 in Scottsdale, Arizona today. That's not the temperature, that's the average IQ of the people in the dance clubs!

It was on this date that mob boss John Gotti got life in prison. He was treated like any other inmate who could kill you with a snap of his fingers!

Today's Inspirational Thought; Don't regret what you didn't accomplish. Accomplish overcoming your regrets.

We're still paying for Bernie Sanders Secret Service protection. Couldn't his wife just go out to get his Polident & Ben Gay?

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