The President orders a single, clearly marked white rabbit to be released into the California redwood forests. Whichever service catches the rabbit wins the contest.
The CIA go first. They deploy surveillance drones, spy satellites and analysts to track down the target. The rabbit is small, however, hides well underneath bushes, and has an unremarkable heat signature, so the CIA fails to detect it. The analysts, reviewing the data, historical statistics on rabbits, and after spending millions on outside consultants, runs the numbers through a million-dollar super-computer, and determine that the rabbit never existed in the first place.
The Marine Corps surround the entire forest, soften up the great redwoods with artillery and air strikes, cutting firing and assault lanes throughout the forest, and Marine search-and-destroy teams push through, clearing the area after 3 hours, at considerable tax-payer expense, and document it in a press release showcasing how effective the Corps is at hunting down even the most elusive of targets. They never find the corpse of the rabbit, but most Marines hold the belief that if the rabbit still lives in that forest, he ain't happy.
The LAPD drive up-armored vehicles into the forest, deploying tear gas to flush out every living creature. An hour later, the LAPD returns with a badly beaten bear that is swearing up and down, "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.