Bunch of good one-liners

1. How many honest intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.


2. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.


3. Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Not one will stop to ask directions.


4. What do men and sperm have in common?
They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.


5. How does a man show he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.


6. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
The bonds eventually mature.


7. Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.


8. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know; it has never happened.


9. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.


10. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.


11. Why are married women heavier than single women?
Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.
Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.


12. Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.