Bricklayer Accident Report

This is a bricklayer's accident report that was printed in the newsletter of
the English equivalent of the Workers' Compensation Board.
Dear Sir;
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block
#3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a more complete explanation and I trust the following
details will be sufficient.
I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on
the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had
some bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found to weigh 240 lbs.
Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel
by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth
floor.
Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the
barrel out, and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope,
holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs of bricks. You will
note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs. Due to my
surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind
and forgot to let go of the rope.
Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building. In
the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding
downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull,
minor abrasions, and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3, accident
reporting form.
Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the
fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I
mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately, by this time I had
regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite
of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience.
At approximately the same time however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground
and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks,
the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building.
In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts
for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and
lower body.
Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to
slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.
I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain,
unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost
my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.