Booster the Rooster

A friend lived in Tennessee for a couple of years back, and this is what he came back with.

There was a man who was a sucessful car salesman for over 15 years. He decided he was going to retire and buy a farm. So he buys a farm way out in the country, he gets cows, chickens, goats, and even dogs. A few months pass and no chickens are laying any eggs, so the man is very upset. He heads to town to the local feed store and asks the man what he can do to make the chickens lay eggs. The man says “I can’t help you but go down the road and this place can help you” and hands him their card. So the man goes down the road, walks in and tells the man his problem.

The man says “I have just what you’re looking for.” The man goes to the back and brings out Booster the Rooster, and says that will be $1500 dollars. The farmer is beyond shocked and says that it’s a ripoff. The man guarantees that it will cure his problem. So the man buys Booster the Rooster and heads home.

He gets to his farm and lets Booster out, and zoom! Booster lines up all the chickens on the yard like a drill instructor, ordered by weight and color, and starts fucking all the chickens one by one, hitting them straight down the line like clockwork. The farmer is beyond amazed and says “Booster! Calm down, your’re gonna fuck yourself to death!”

The next morning the man looks outside and there are eggs EVERYWHERE. He runs inside, grabs the wife and kids, and they all scoop up eggs. He then looks over and sees Booster ordering all the cows by weight and color, then going down the line fucking all the cows. The man yells “God damn Booster, your going to fuck yourself to death!” After that the man calls it a night.

He comes out the next day and there are eggs everywhere again. He gets his wife and kids out to pick them up again. He looks around and sees the chickens and the cows just laying there, tongues all hanging out and stunned. He looks around for Booster and sure enough, Booster is fucking the dog. The man says “God damn Booster, you are going to fuck yourself to death!” The man calls it a night and goes inside.



He comes out the next morning and there is a huge hole in the fence, and all the animals are gone. The man is beyond pissed, and sets out looking for the animals. Can’t find his livestock, can’t find his chickens, can’t find his dog. Can’t find Booster either. A few days pass by, but still nothing.

One morning he sees buzzards circling something. He walks to where he think they’re circling and finds Booster laying there with his tongue hanging out, looking dazed and almost dead. The farmer says “See Booster! See! I told you, you were going to fuck yourself to death!”

All of a sudden Booster perks his head up and says “SSSHHHHH, they’re about to land!”