Bob Weir's yellow dog story

"Now what I think I'll do, is I'll take this opportunity to tell y'all a story. 'Cause y'all haven't heard it yet. And it

goes like this. There was a fellow, and he had a dog, a pet dog. And he used to walk his dog around, every now and

again. And anyway, well, it was a hot summer day and he walking his dog, and he thought he'd stop off at the bar

and have himself a beer. And he did just that. He walked into the bar, and he walked up to the bar. And he put his

change on the bar, and he said to the bartender, "I'd like a glass of beer." And the bartender said, "Certainly, Sir,

coming right up." Meanwhile, while he was waiting for his beer, he looked down the bar and there was this fellow

sitting down the bar with a big black slick mean-looking dog. Now the fellow down the other side of the bar, with the

short fat squat ugly little yellow dog, said ... nothing. But the guy with the big black slick mean-looking dog looked

down the bar at the guy with the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog, and said "hey that sure is an ugly little dog

you got there, mister. All short fat squat ugly and yellow." Well the guy with the short fat squat ugly little yellow

dog said to the guy with the big black sleek mean-looking dog "yeah, well he may be ugly but he sure can fight."

And the guy with the big black slick mean-looking dog said to the guy with the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog,

"Yeah?" The guy with the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog said, "Yeah." So they decided they'd take them both

out back behind the bar and let them fight it out. "I'll put a fiver on mine. You put a fiver on yours. Winner take

home the bucks." They figured that was a good idea and they did just that. They took them out the back and they

let them fight it out. And the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog just kicked you-know-what out the big black slick

mean-looking dog. And when the fight was over and the big black slick mean-looking dog was over in the corner

licking his wounds, the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog was hopping around, the guy with the big black slick

mean-looking dog allowed as, yeah, the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog sure could fight. But ... "I never seen a

dog look like that before, all short fat squat little ugly and yellow. What kind of dog is that anyway?" And the guy

with the short fat squat ugly little yellow dog said to the guy with the big black slick mean-looking dog, "Yeah, well

he used to be an alligator before I cut his tail off and painted him yellow."