Blonde quickies 1-20


Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!


Q: How do blonde braincells die ?
A: Alone.


Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.


Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.


Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)


Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!


Q: What was the blond psychic's greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!


Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.


Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning?
A: It swells at night.


Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.


Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.


Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.


Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: When they're on their backs, they're screwed.


Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"


Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.


Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...


Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.


Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.


Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.


Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.