Bashing The Sexes!

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 min.


Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual Harassment


Q: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.


Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.


Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.


Q: What's it called when a woman is paralyzed from the waist
down?
A: Marriage


Q: How many men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, they just sit there in the dark and complain.


Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.


Q: What have men and floor tiles got in common?
A: If you lay them properly the first time, you can walk all
over them for life.


Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.


Q: Why are men like public toilets?
A: Because all the good ones are engaged and the only ones left
are full of crap.


Q: What is a man's view of safe sex?
A: A padded headboard.


Q: How do men sort their laundry?
A: "Filthy" and "Filthy but wearable"


Q: What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.


Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no
intention of driving.


Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A: A golden retriever.


Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.


Q: Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A: The guy who can have a cup of coffee in each hand and still
carry a dozen donuts.


Q: Who is the most popular woman at the nudist colony?
A: The woman who ate the last donut.


Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A: A battery has a positive side.


Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.


Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in third grade.
Who has the biggest breasts?
A: The blonde, because she's 18.


Q: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where the breasts went.


Q: Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
A: Two mothers-in-law.


Q: Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women?
A: He died laughing before he could tell anybody