Barnyard Tales

A salesman gets lost in the country one night and sees he’s low on gas. He sees a light on in a farmhouse and decides to stop and ask for directions. The farmer who answers the door listens to his request for directions but instead says to the salesman, “Why don’t you just stop for the night and stay over? These back roads can be mighty treacherous and I’d hate to see you get stranded out here. I can put you up in my barn for the night, then in the morning you can get a nice big breakfast of flapjacks and coffee and you’ll be ready to go." The salesman is so tired, he takes the farmer up on his offer and stays the night in the barn.

The next morning the salesman comes to breakfast and the farmer asked him how he slept. The salesman said,” I had a great night’s sleep and I got to meet all the animals in the barn last night. They are so interesting!” The farmer doesn’t quite know what he means by this, so the salesman explains that he has the ability to talk to animals. Sensing the farmer’s disbelief, the salesman said,” Well, for example, I talked to your cow. She said her name is Bessie and you come in promptly at 6AM to milk her every morning.” Farmer says, “Damn that’s right!” The salesman continues, “and your two pigs named Fester and Amos say you come in promptly at 6:30 every morning to give them their slop.” Farmer says,” Damn that’s right too.”

Finally the salesman said, “and I talked to the sheep Mae who says you come in every morning at 7…” when the farmer interrupts him abruptly and says, “Don't believe a word those sheep say: they're nothing but a bunch of god damned liars!”