An octopus is in a bar and says he's a great musician.

An Englishman points to the piano and says, "Let's see."
The octopus plays Mozart flawlessly.
An American hands him a guitar and says, "try this."
The octopus plays Hendrix perfectly.
An Irishman hands him bagpipes and says, "how about these, lad?"
The octopus fumbles around with the bagpipes for a few minutes. No music comes out. A few minutes more, no music. The octopus gets frustrated.
"Ahh, see lad. The bagpipes are a we bit difficult to play" says the Irishman.
"Play?" Says the octopus. "As soon as I get her pajams off I'm going to fuck her brains out."