Colm goes out one fair evening for a solo round of golf. On the third hole (a long dogleg left par 4) he smashes his driver over the trap that guards the left corner of the dogleg. When Colm arrives at his ball, he sees a little red bearded man dressed in green lying unconscious with a large knot on his forehead. "Jesus, Mary and Joesph" exclaimed Colm, "I've just killed a bloody Leprechaun!" After hemming and hawing about what to do for a minute, he decides to flee. Just then the Leprechaun stirred and then sat up. "Weel ya got me!" slurred the Leprechaun. Colm, not knowing what to do or say just stared blankly, mouth agape. "I see tha cat has got your tongue." said the Leprechaun smiling. "You foyn sir are due three wishes." This was more than poor Colm could take. So he ran (golf clubs in tow) for the club house.
The perplexed Leprechaun decided that rules were rules and that he would grant the three wishes in the golfer's stead. The three wishes he granted were. 1) The golfer would always have great rounds of golf. 2) The golfer would never want for money. 3) From here on out, the golfer would have the best sex of his life.
One year later Colm was golfing the same course and on the third hole, at the same bunker, the Leprechaun materialized. The Leprechaun asked a startled Colm how his year had been. "This year has been amazing" said Colm. "I've golfed twice a week and birdied every hole!" He continued, "Amazingly, every time I went to the pub for a pint a new 20 pound note was in my wallet. And, I had great sex once a month." The confused Leprechaun asked, "sex only once per month?" Colm replied, "yeah, but that's not too bad for priest with a small parrish."
...I heard that last night at the course. Props to Hugh who told me the joke.
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