An Austrian joke I like very much:
The hare, the fox and the bear turn 18 and receive their enlistment order, but don't want to serve in the military. This was back when conscientious objection was not as easy as it is nowadays.
They meet in front of the barracks and think about what to do.
The hare has to go inside first. They decide to fold one of his ears and fix them with a clothespeg (US: clothespin). The hare goes inside, and after some time, he comes back out, saying: "Unfit to serve, because of my ear."
The fox is next, but he does not have long ears, so they decide to fold his tail instead. They too fix it with a clothespeg. The fox goes inside, and after some time, he comes back out, saying: "Unfit to serve, because of my tail."
The last one to go inside is the bear, and neither does he have long ears, nor does he have a long tail. The three think about it for some time, then they decide to punch him in the face and break some teeth. The bear goes inside, and after some time, he comes back out, saying: "Unfit to serve — because I'm overweight."
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