Acid Vs. Holy Water

Little Johnny was sitting in the dirt tormenting ants and spiders and things, pouring liquid on them and watching them sizzle. The parish priest, Father Murphy, walked past and enquired, "What's in the bottle, Johnny?"

"Sulphuric Acid, Father," the boy said with savage glee.

The priest, wishing to deter the lad from these savage entertainments, said, "you shouldn't use that. You should use this wonderful Holy Water I have here in this bottle."

"What bloody good's that?" the lad asked querulously.

"Well," said the priest, "yesterday I poured some of this on a woman's stomach, and she passed a baby!"

"That's nuthin." said Johnny. "I poured some of this on the cat's arse and it passed a fuckin' motobike!"

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