A Russian fisherman named Boris goes fishing one day.
He catches a goldfish, which says "Don't eat me! If you let me go, I'll grant you one wish."
Boris replies "Alright, I want to piss Vodka"
The goldfish grants his wish, and Boris lets it go.
When he comes home, his wife Natasha asks how the fishing went, but he hurriedly left for the bathroom. He took a glass from the kitchen first.
When he took a piss in the glass, he was amazed that his wish came true. He smelled it, and it smelled like vodka. He looked at it, and it looked like vodka. He tasted it, and it tasted like the best vodka in the world.
He ran downstairs and yelled "Natasha, taste this!"
She replied "It's amazing! Where did you get it?"
To what he replied "Ah, that's a secret!"
So this continues for a few weeks, when Boris comes to bed with only 1 glass of Vodka.
Natasha asked him "Why do you only have 1 glass, when there are 2 of us?"
And so Boris smiled and said "Natasha... Tonight you drink straight from the bottle."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.