A young sailor is listening to an old pirate tell his stories...

...and notices that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eyepatch. The young man asks the pirate, "How did you get your peg leg?"

"Well you see," says the pirate, "I once got so rip, roaring drunk, that I stumbled and fell overboard. The crew scrambled to fish me out, and just as I was being lifted, a shark came and took a huge bite of me leg!"

The young sailor is impressed, and asks the pirate "Well, how did you get your hook?"

The pirate responds "We were fighting another ship and we managed to get on their boat. In the heat of battle, the captain swung his sword and cut me hand clean off!"

The sailor is shocked. After a short pause he then asks the pirate, "So how did you get your eyepatch?"

To which the pirate responds, "We were at port and seagull flew overhead. I looked up, and a huge crap fell on me eye."

"You got your eyepatch because a seagull shat on it?!" asks the young man. "That's very ironic considering you've survived a shark attack and had your hand cut off!"

"Well it was me first day with me hook!" replies the pirate