She goes all around town, to all the sporting stores, department stores, gadget/computer stores, can't find anything her husband would like or doesn't have.
She decides to go downtown and walks around looking at interesting boutique stores when she ends up walking into a very strange looking store with thousands upon thousands of very small, very intricately carved jade statues, among other rare and interesting trinkets. The store is amazing and beautiful, but her husband isn't exactly a jade statue collecting kind of guy.
In exasperation, she decides to strike up a conversation with the kindly store owner about her predicament:
"Hello. I am looking for a birthday present for my husband, but he is a very particular sort of man and I'm having a lot of trouble finding a gift!"
The store owner smiles and holds up one finger, "Wait."
He goes to the back of the store for a moment and returns with a beautifully gilded wooden box and opens it to reveal a frog sitting calmly on a little cushion.
"This frog performs oral sex!"
For a moment the woman is horrified. But then she starts to think...well, my husband DOES have a sense of humor and I don't really like giving blowjobs. Before she can stop herself she says, "I'll take it!" She pays the man, pets the frog (the frog chirps happily), she closes the box, and drives home eager for her husband to come home.
She sets the box on the counter and prepares an elaborate birthday dinner. Her husband arrives, they enjoy a wonderful meal together, and after dessert, she shows him his new present and explains the frog's special skill.
The husband has a good chuckle about it, and they both laughingly agree that he will spend the night on the couch in order to try his new present! They go to bed.
In the middle of the night though, the woman awakens to lights under the doorjamb and a flurry of sound from the kitchen. She hears pots clanging, drawers opening and shutting. She gets up violently, storms down the hallway and sees the frog sitting neatly on the counter and her husband rummaging in the pantries and cabinets, her kitchen looking like a tornado has just been through it. "What in *God's name* is going on???" she asks.
Her husband looks at her, replies: "If this frog can cook, you're getting the fuck out of here."
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