A small plane crashes in the jungle...

Only three people survived.


/u/Unidan, /u/Sojoez, and /u/AWildSketchAppeared.


Inside the jungle they are captured by a tribe of natives. The tribe does not take kindly to strangers but they are offered a challenge.
They are to go into the jungle and return at the end of the day with a fruit.
If the fruit is unknown to the natives they go free. However! If the natives do know the fruit, it will be inserted into their ass. If they make any noise at all, they will be executed, but if they withstand it, they go free.


First to return is Unidan, he is carrying a round, hard fruit that most people would not look twice at. Before he can explain what it is, the natives say: "Ah yes, the [wood-apple](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limonia_acidissima) we make jam out of those. Bend over!" As the fruit gets inserted unlubed and stem first, Unidan screams and gets his throat slit.


Sojoez figures that the natives have been living here for centuries and that the jungle knows no secrets to them, so he grabs 3 [cranberries](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cranberry) and returns to the village. The natives recognize the fruit and tell him to bend over. As the first two get inserted nothing happens, but at the third, Sojoez breaks into a laughing fit and also gets his throat slit.


Somewhere in the afterlife, Unidan confronts Sojoez and asks: "Why did you laugh? You where almost free to go."
"I couldn't help it, I saw AWildSketchAppeared coming into the village carrying a watermelon!"