On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a word, the hobo got up, took off his clothes, and dove in. Mid-air, he performed three perfect flips, and on entry, made not a single ripple accross the water. Grabbing hold of the little girl he swam ashore to her father.
"Oh my goodness! Thank you so much! I couldn't help but notice that you dive beautifully, I will reward you with $500 if you can do that again.". Without saying a word, the hobo got back on to the bridge and did it again, this time managing to flip four times, with another perfect entry. Astounded, the man says "I'll double my price if you do it again." Again, the hobo climbed on to the bridge, dove off and had a perfect entry, not one ripple accross the water.
The rich man paid the hobo and said "Look, I'm pretty rich, I recently bought a cruise ship and I'm looking for attractions, how would you like to come work for me and show the world your skills? How about we go for a world record for highest dive while we're at it? I'll give you 50% of all I own if you dive off the world's tallest diving platform like you did today." The homeless man agreed, and he was allowed to live on the ship while the diving platform was being constructed.
When construction began, the platform climbed high into the sky, past the atmosphere, into space, it went past Mars, past Jupiter, slowly got built past Saturn, Neptune, and finally stopped at Pluto. When it was finished the hobo began his climb. He climbed all the way past the atmosphere, into space, past Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, and arrived on the platform by Pluto.
By now, the boat was at max capacity and a large crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle, TV cameras televised the event, a whole campaign of cheering people were following this story. The hobo took a minute's rest after the climb and dove off. He began flying down towards the earth, perfect flip after flip. He flipped past Neptune, he flipped past Saturn, he flipped past Jupiter and Mars, all the while maintaining his perfect golden form. He entered the atmosphere and began to straighten himself for entry into the pool aboard the ship.
He dove in, again, not a single ripple made its way accross the pool surface. However, as you would have guessed, the pool was much too shallow, and he continued to go deeper. He dove past the bedrooms, past the cabin crew level, the engine, and through the hull, the ship began to sink and everyone panicked.
As the ship was going under, the rich man swam over to the hobo, too amazed to lament his cruise ship he asked:
"How on earth did you do that? You're completely unscathed! The entry was perfect! You obliterated the ship!" After a moment's silence, the hobo finally spoke.
"I'm a hobo, I've been through many hardships in my life"
*Edit: There are inconsistencies but I ain't gon' hide them. Laugh at my stupid.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.