The Federales gallop up on their horses and come to a stop in front of a peon working in a field.
"Hey, peon!" says El Hefe, "Have you seen Pepe Gonzales, the famous Mexican outlaw?"
The peon looks up at him. Stands straight and tall and begins his tale.
"Yesterday, here in this very place. A man on a horse was passing through my fields and he rode up to me - just as you have, and he says to me that he is in fact Pepe Gonzales, the famous Mexican outlaw. When he stopped he drew his pistol and he aimed it right in my face."
El Hefe says "Please continue, tell us what transpired when the alleged Pepe Gonzales, famous Mexican outlaw, arrived here in your field and confronted you that way".
"Well", said the peon, "He said to me 'Hey Peon, give me your money', but I told him I was just a peon and I had no money I could give him".
"So, then Pepe Gonzales, that famous Mexican outlaw, said to me 'Then peon, you can just bend over scoop up a handful of that horse shit and eat it or I will shoot you dead here in your field'"...
"What else could I do, I am but a poor peon, so I scooped up a handful of horse shit and I ate it".
"Then Pepe Gonzales, that famous Mexican outlaw, he laughed and laughed, and then he laughed so hard he dropped his pistol".
"I jumped forward and I quickly grabbed his pistol and then I aimed it in his face and I said to him 'Pepe Gonzales, famous Mexican outlaw - you will get off your horse and eat shit' and that is just what he did."
"So - you ask me if I have seen Pepe Gonzales, the famous Mexican outlaw, and I tell you El Hefe, that yesterday we had lunch together".
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